Prioritize Jesus Before Your Friends

Want healthy friendships? I have the secret sauce formula for ya. Are you ready? 

Prioritize Jesus before your friendships. 

The truth is that we as humans cannot carry what only Christ is capable of carrying. You can’t dump all your problems onto your friends. Your friends WILL disappoint you. Your boyfriend/ girlfriend WILL disappoint you. 

My friend asked me the other day, “So I know you’re a verbal processor so what does that look like with God? How do you process if He isn’t going to verbally talk back to you.” 

I told her that I journal with Jesus. I write everything down. Literally everything. I allow myself to feel every emotion. If I am mad at God, I tell Him. I say, “God I am so mad at you right now. This really sucks and I hate it.” Because the truth is that God isn’t worried if we’re mad at Him. He isn’t concerned or stressed when we have questions and doubts. There’s a reason He says have a mustard size seed of faith. We aren’t intended to know it all or trust Him fully. We’re human- He gets it because He was also once a human, too. But the difference is that He is fully God. A holy, set apart, all knowing God and we aren’t. But He wants to walk us through our doubt, our concern, our lack. But are we letting Him or are we settling for what we can see/touch/sense?

Anyways, the secret formula: Jesus before friendships. 

The reality is that if you don’t dump everything onto God, you will dump it onto everyone else in your life. Which will leave you rejected, still hopeless, still mad, still sad, and more unsettled than before. 

If I have something cool that happened or something super sad, I don’t tell my friends until I have talked to Jesus about it first. Because think about it, when these things happen, the first person you tell is going to react however they do. What if they don’t respond the way you want? Then you’ll be upset. We naturally have expectations on those we love and those around us, even if we try hard not to. We do. 

You know what this also does? When you talk to God about it first, you already know what He has to say about it so it doesn’t matter what someone else’s opinion is. This way you can be CONFIDENT because you know where your final confidence and authority comes from. 

Another part of talking to God first before your friends is that it allows you to be dependent on God, not codependent on your friendships. Codependency is defined, “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction.” 

Could it be that codependency is on the same level of illness or addiction? We hear these words and don’t think that they could be in the same realm of friendship. But friends, friendship is meant to spur each other on towards Jesus Christ, not replacing Jesus’ place in their life. 

Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” 

So in all of this, I want to encourage you to seek Jesus first. Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” 

Don’t put it all on your friends, give it to God. The messy, the ugly, and the yuck. Not that you can’t with your friends but your friends can’t heal you. They can’t do anything that God can. Jesus can handle the mess, humans can’t.

One of my favorite authors, Lysa TerKeuerst said something along the lines of, “people are really good at performing emergency CPR moments, but were never intended to be your oxygen tank.” Meaning other people aren’t meant to keep you going and breathing. They are to remind you of things forgotten, to encourage you closer to Christ, and to be there interceding in prayer for you.