I am still worthy even when someone leaves me
We've all been there when someone has told us that they would be there for us forever, but then leaves. Whether that is a friendship, family member, boyfriend or girlfriend- rejection hurts. They leave with all the secrets we told them, they leave with all the trust that was built up that took so long to build, they leave with no apology, they leave with no care in the world that they had just hurt you and worst of all... they leave not knowing the effect it will have on your next relationship with another person.
When I was in high school, I had the tendency to go towards guys for attention & affirmation. I would post pictures that would grab their attention and draw them in. Once they found out that I did not want to do anything physical with them- they left faster than the time it took for me to reply trying to convince them that I am still valuable though I can't give them what they want. At the time, I would always question myself, my worth, what I was doing wrong, what was wrong with me and my importance to men. If we're being honest, there are times that I still have little doubts & lies that try creeping in telling me those lies. But this is where I CHOOSE to think differently- I wipe my eyes of the distorted perspective of insecurities & rejection and put on the glasses of God's unchanging truth. I CHOOSE to believe in myself. I CHOOSE to love myself because the one who created me- has not given up on me yet.
I found out that no matter what anyone says about me, thinks about me, or does against me that I am loved by the creator of the universe. You know why I think he loves me? He has recently provided me almost all of my money for my mission trip that costs $10k, He gave me amazing parents that I enjoy being with, He gives me blessing after blessing, opportunity after opportunity even though I sin everyday. But you know why I know he loves me? Because I go through trials and challenges. I go through situations that I can not handle on my own. In 1 Peter 4:13 it says," But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." He has CREATED us to have be of the flesh. To struggle, doubt, be weary, be anxious, worry, be mad and have bitterness. We are human- we have emotions that are not perfect. We are not perfect nor will we ever be. But that is OK. He doesn't want us to be perfect because if we were perfect, we wouldn't have to depend on him for everything and he wouldn't get the glory which ultimately would result in a lack of joy for us. (It's truly a full circle)
Now you can say, "Rachael that's cool and all, but I'm just not that strong." BUT MY FRIEND- you are. In Joshua 1:9 it says, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lordyour God will be with you wherever you go.” Yes you are. You are strong. You are courageous. You don't have to be afraid or discouraged. NOT because you alone are strong or brave- but because HE IS and HE WILL PROTECT YOU IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. He will not only protect you from certain situations but also people. He puts in our path certain people/ opportunities in order for us to grow in wisdom and knowledge. You do not have to be afraid because he is good. You may not like your circumstance at the time but the Lord works everything out for your good & His kingdom's good. Let me repeat, the Lord works everything out for your good & His kingdom's good!! (Romans 8:28, Proverbs 16:4)
So someone just left me, but I know that I am loved by God, I know that God makes all things good, and that as a christian I will go through trial. What do I do now? Do I just forgive that person and move on? Yes, but that's a lot harder than saying it out loud and I think that there are some action steps for healing.
DO's:
Memorize scripture that tells you who you are and who Jesus created you to be. Replacing truth with lies will help you develop into the godly man/woman God intended you to be & will help you in times of attacks from the enemy telling you the lies about yourself.
Pray for the person who has hurt you. Pray that you see them how God see's them: just another broken sinner just like you. Just as the father forgives you daily- you can forgive. This will help you have compassion and love them through the hurt. This will also teach you humility and get rid of any pride.
Go force yourself to have fun! Hang out with some friends!
DONT'S:
Don't text that person wanting "closure" because closure does not exist. You only want to say goodbye to that person because you are subconsciously trying to get them to fight for you and win you back. This won't give you peace because you are always going to want to say one more thing or hear one more thing from them. The only source of peace we have is from our Father in heaven. Talk to Him, tell him everything going on and pray for peace, to forgive and to surrender the situation to Him.
Don't stay in your room and sulk.
Don't let your thoughts get the best of you. What you think about is what you end up believing- so cover your thoughts with truth and positivity.
Lord I pray for whoever reads this. I know that everyone has someone in their life who they need to forgive or that they feel betrayed by. I pray that they take these words and can be encouraged to RUN to God with their sadness, brokenness and loneliness. Lord you are a good good father and you desperately want us close to you. I love you, Lord. Amen