Is your Boyfriend a Part of God's Plan for You?
Hey girl.
Are you dating a guy who doesn't go to church with you? Maybe He is Christian but dreads going to church? Or he constantly makes excuses not to go? Does he read His bible on his own without you nagging him to do it? Maybe he is open to going but still makes excuses not to?
Or
Are you dating a guy who isn't Christian but is still a good guy? Does he try to convince you not to go to church because he wants to spend time with you? Does he make fun of you for believing in God?
If your answer was yes to ANY of these, keep reading. Or keep reading so that you will know not to get into a relationship like this.
Some might say, "He isn't Christian and won't come to church but that will change because he is a good guy." Ladies, 2 Corinthians 6:14 directly says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
Just because He is a good guy does not mean that you two should be together. God designed us to be in a relationship with a man that is equally yoked (as the verse above stated) or else it will only hold you back. God has made relationship so that one another can encourage and challenge each other towards Christ.
If he's not open to it... MAJOR RED FLAG, friend. I'll be honest because I care, you cannot change him. You are missing out on growing as a daughter of Christ by being with a boy who doesn't benefit you pretty much at all.
I know that is hard to take in but if he doesn't help you grow closer to God, then there literally is no purpose in it other than having someone be your comfort and affirm you of who you are. But even then, the affirmation you are receiving is from a fleshly perspective and not from God's.
If he isn't following the Lord, he won't be able to see characteristics of Jesus in you. He won't know truth so he won't be able to challenge you in a Godly way. If he doesn't know Jesus, then he cannot serve you in a way that Jesus designed for you to be served. If he is so against who Jesus is then you will never be pursued in a way that Jesus wants you to be pursued. He will never strive to love you like Jesus loves you simply because he doesn't know how loved he is by his creator.
The thing is, the "fulfillment" that your boyfriend is giving you will never sustain you because God has handcrafted us to only be fulfilled by Him and His love. Even when you are married you won't have the same fulfillment as God's.
Since we are all broken people we think relationships will be like a perfect puzzle piece. We think to ourselves, "oh if I find my other half then we will be one." But if two broken people try becoming one, it will only make them two broken people trying to put their identity into each other. Which leads to false and unmet expectations, insecurities when the other person isn't fulfilling their every need that only God can meet, and so much more heartache.
"Ok Rachael, I know this is a problem... What do I do now? My boyfriend is my everything and I cannot imagine leaving him.."
Girl, you aren't alone in this.
"But, I can't just leave him. He technically hasn't done anything wrong. I would feel bad."
You are right. He hasn't done anything wrong, but he is wrong for you. Let me just share a piece of truth for you...
You. Do. Not. Owe. Him. Anything.
You owe him nothing. You are not in a marriage covenant with him. Girl, you have a calling from God on your life. You need to make the decisions that are going to beneficial for that calling. You need to take control of your own life or nobody else will.
Yes, it will be hard, but you are stronger than you know. Jesus rewards our faithfulness.
"God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” Romans 2:6
"His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!" Matthew 25:21
"Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess." Deuteronomy 5:33
"“May the Lord repay every man for his righteousness and his faithfulness, for the Lord delivered you into my hand today, but I would not stretch out my hand against the Lord’s anointed.” 1 Samuel 26:23
When we are allowing things/ people to block us between what the Lord is trying to do in and through us, then we will never have the privilege of doing anything God has planned for us. Friends, I say this not to bag on your boyfriend. I say this because I had to learn it the hard way that led to many bad things. Find some friends who you love and have them pray with you. Start a bible study to fill the time you once spent with him.
God wants you to be wholeheartedly devoted to Him. When he wants to bless you with someone to do life alongside with, He will. He knows our hearts way more than we do and knows what we can handle way more than we do.
Message me on Instagram if you have any questions!
xx,
Coffeewithrach